ABSOLUTION
Chapter One
Part Three
Addiction
I remember when I got sent to a “Clinic.” for treating “Sex addiction.” It was so humiliating. It’s like going to alcoholics anonymous only even less effective. The best person to help an addict is another addict, it’s impossible to “cure” an addict, you can only occupy that part of their life with something else. I suppose there was one woman that was able to “cure.” me for a time.
We’d meet up, sit in a circle and talk about sex as the coordinator got off on the huge power trip they got from hearing all our dirty confessions. It was pointless. I don’t even feel like there is anything wrong with me in the first place. It didn’t feel like we were making any progress doing the exact same thing every week.
On Thursdays it was a condescending postgraduate student, she’d always wear a tight blouse with a figure hugging woolly top and a short skirt and she had such a hot mouth. Nice voice too but she’d drone on for ages which made me want to fuck her mouth so she’d shut up. It was actually a good thing she talked so much as the more she talked the less we had to.
We had the ones that would show up only for one session never to be seen again, I would have stopped attending myself had I not been forced to go by my employer. We also had the hardcore ones for whom it seemed like the meetings were the highlight of the week.
If you asked me now I couldn’t remember any of their names. However, there was one member who I will never forget.
It had almost become a ritual, I got the representative to sign a book saying I attended. I take a biscuit, put a tea bag in a polystyrene cup, fill it with nasty hot water from an urn that has probably never been washed. Then hide the tiny white flakes floating in it by topping it off with milk. Then I’d sit down and day dream for an hour, stop for a break then repeat the process again for another hour before finally going home.
For me beauty isn’t just skin, I couldn’t see her but I could sense her presence. I could tell by her scent, her pleasant aroma, the sound of her footsteps betraying how her weight is distributed throughout her body that she was attractive. As I poured the milk I could tell that everyone in the room but me was looking right at her. As I looked over my shoulder she looked over hers and we made eye contact.
Her face, albeit pretty looked a little sad. “Would you like a cup of tea?” I say with a smile and her face lights up a little as she changes direction to stand next to me. “Here take mine, I’ll make another.” I hand her my grim cup of tea and make myself another equally dismal cup. “You have any sugar or anything?”
“No thank you.”
“Sweet enough eh?” I say with a cheeky grin.
We sit next to each other as the session begins, I’m almost falling asleep with my eyes open as I hear the same boring stories from the same boring men and women desperately looking for excitement in their lives. She taps me on the leg to wake me up. That’s not why I’m here, I’m here because I refuse to deny myself my natural primal urges I think she might feel the same.
Then she tells her story. She seemed a little reluctant at first, the whole thing seemed like a confession rather than a story. She told us all how she began masturbating at an early age, how she lost her virginity on her fifteenth Birthday. She admitted that she’d used sex as a bargaining chip, trading sexual favours to get hired at different jobs and to get out of trouble.
Then I saw her eyes well up. She took a deep breath as though she were about to rip off a band aid then she explained why she was there. Like me sometimes she let her urges spill over into the workplace. She started sleeping with her boss. For her it was just sex but for him it was much more.
He’d fallen in love with her so when his wife came to visit him at work on his Birthday and found him fucking her on his desk he chose her over his wife and kids. He got divorced, he lost his children and his house. She didn’t love him she couldn’t commit to him, soon after she left her job and a month later he killed himself. She blamed herself for it.
By the time she’s finished telling her story tears were flowing down her cheeks smearing black makeup all over her face. She was so vulnerable, it was beautiful, I just wanted to hold her. For the first time I heard a story that actually moved me. She had such a profound effect not just on me but the whole room. You could hear a pin drop. We stopped for a break.
I took a handkerchief from my pocket and wiped the tears away then kissed her on the cheek. “You truly moved me with your story.” Perhaps if it had been a Tuesday I would have started to take the “Treatment” more seriously but it was a Thursday and the blowjob queen started lecturing us about how evil we all are.
“A healthy sex life is good but when you allow it to affect your day to day life it becomes an addiction and that’s when you start to hurt people...”
“...Unfortunately your addiction led to someone dying. You’re in the right place, we can help you.” She finished it off with an evil smile. If there’s one thing I hate it’s slut shaming. Its human nature to follow your desires.
I’ve always had a rebellious streak, it’s my finest character floor but there it was a disadvantage.
“Don’t be hard on yourself. It takes two to tango. That man put a casual love affair over his wife and kids, clearly his marriage was built on weak foundations or he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. He could have chosen to fight for the right to see his kids again not abandon them. It wasn’t your fault he knew the risks.”
With that one statement I’d sealed my fate. The remainder of the evening just a huge argument between me and blowjob lips. My opinion that shaming us isn’t treatment and that this inexperienced post grad had done nothing to help us control our natural desires didn’t go down well. The argument just got more and more heated.
After the session hot lips wanted a private word with me. She insisted that I visit her in her flat alone for “Private sessions”. I wasn’t interested. I was outraged what a hypocrite if I have a problem then how is her asking me to come to her place alone going to help?
When I left the building I was fuming. I walked past her in the car park. I walk fast and she ran to catch up to me. “Hey! Wait. Thanks for sticking up for me.” She hugged me but I was still sulking from the argument too much to appreciate it. “No problem.” She stared at me for a while, I could see her thinking. “Everyone spoke except you, I’d like to hear your story.”
“I don’t have a story I was just born like this.”
She took my hand without me even realising it. “Come on, lets go for a drink.” I never had a say in the matter she just held my hand and took me to a bar about five or ten minutes away. We sat down in the corner on soft leather seats and she went to the bar and bought me a bottle of beer and we just clicked. Before I knew it I’d bought the next round and we’d finished those drinks as well. She goes to the bar and buys a third round.
“So come on. What’s your story?”
“I don’t have one I just really enjoy sex and I have a high sex drive.”
“Then why do you go to the sessions?”
“Work made me.”
“Well tell me about that then.”
I tell her the story about how I used to sleep with the clerks at work and how I got caught sleeping with my boss’ daughter but the HR lady bailed me out and I got made to attend or loose my job.
“Bad bunny.” She said in the most provocative voice as she run a circle around the rim of the bottle with her finger. Just then last orders was called.
“I want to have a couple more.” I thought we’d just go to another bar and then part ways. “Me too.”
“Then it’s settled, we’ll have a couple more at my place.” We both know exactly what’s going to happen. I know full well that if anyone finds out I’ll get asked to leave the group and probably loose my job. But I like her.
As soon as we get to her place she slams the door behind her. “Wanna drink?”
“I’m good for now thanks.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
She gives me a tour of her place, pointing out the kitchen and the bathroom and then stops outside the bedroom. “If there’s anything you want at all just ask.” She kisses me on the cheek and I snap. I press her against the door and we kiss passionately. She reaches for the door handle and opens the door without looking.
I step forward, leading her backwards until the edge of the bed touches the back of her knees. We’re desperately pulling each others clothes off leaving a trail from the door to the bed. Now wearing nothing but our socks we take a second to admire each other’s bodies. I take another second to compose myself but it doesn’t work.
I loose control, slamming her down onto the bed, she spreads her legs, I grab my shaft and point my tip towards her soaking wet lips. I look behind me onto the bedroom floor and look at the gusset of her knickers which are completely wet through. Normally I like to tease but I want her so much and she’s more than wet enough already.
I ram my rod home in one long stroke making her moan like a porn star, not thinking twice about protection. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders as I take a deep breath and begin to have my way with her. I pond her hard no warm up and she just takes it in her stride. I like long sessions but right now I just need to cum more than anything.
We’re a force of nature I can feel her love smeared all over my balls as they slap against her. Every long hard deep stroke brings me closer to the edge and I can feel her respond to my every effort. “Oh god! Please... just go for it, cum inside me!” I catch my breath. “As you wish.” In the heat of the moment I couldn’t care less about the consequences and I stop holding back and go at it full pelt.
We both cum at the same time, her wet contractions milking every last drop of semen from my body. Her body goes limp and I collapse on top of her. We take a whole hour to recover then go at it again. After the second time there’s nothing left of me. I roll off her body completely spent, our hot bodies covered in sweat and we fall asleep in each other’s arms.
The next morning her alarm goes off. I’m late for work. I jump out of her bed desperately trying to gather all my clothes up. “Wait!...Let me give you my number.” She says, eyes still closed. I hand her my phone and she enters her number. “I never got your name.” She doesn’t answer. I call her so she has my number. It vibrates so loud it makes her jump. “Call me!” She shouts as I slam the door behind me and try to make it to work on time.